Sophomore Year

I am not on facebook right now, so I thought I'd update you on life. I'm in my sophomore year at Moody-Spokane and if I told you I absolutely loved it so far this year I'd be lying to you. This year has been hard. I know your wondering why, I'm going to tell you:)

For living this year I was living with a family and it was good I was afraid. I was afraid of getting to close to them, I was afraid of life becoming to personal and I was uncomfortable because I was not close to campus and my peers. All of these things were true but they were also cover-ups for my hearts fears and mistrust. I was not use to the Lord giving me such good things such as friends that would accept and love me no matter how tough it got. I ran away and by that I mean I moved out and into a college house with a lot of girls where I could hide and not get close to people and keep my guard up.

In the mist of moving houses I moved churches. I moved churches out of frustration and immaturity. I left because I did not like the way the pastor handled his dislike of the Bible College student attitude. He handled it by being sarcastic and a bit harsh toward us Bible College students. Instead of me talking to him I just left the church and went to a church that I had been going to bible study at last year.

This year as a sophomore has been hard because I've had a hard heart toward the Lord and his people. What I mean by that is that the Lord has had lessons for me to learn and I simply did not want to learnt them. One lesson He wanted me to learn is that I can trust him and that he is good. I had a difficult semester academically because of one class that was a lot of information gathering and detailed information at that. The prof was super smart and expected us to be as smart as he was and I just wasn't there and so I felt discouraged most of the time.

So due to my self induce isolation and lack of desire to learn from the Lord this last semester was hard. Even in my disobedience I see how the Lord blessed me. I was never allowed to walk away form the Lord. The Holy Spirit kept me and guarded my heart from utter disobedience and walking right into destruction. I am thankful for this valley because I see my Father's care for me and his endless pursuit even when I run away.

Over break my Father allow me a time of rest and I was able to learn from my mistakes for the last semester. So as this semester has started I have been blessed to be able to be in community more with other believer's and through that being propelled to be with my Father is secret and pray to him in secret. I have seen growth spiritually in the fact that I want to commune with the Lord and that I want my life to be his and that means my time, money, thoughts and sexuality and purity to be His and His alone!

Hope you enjoyed reading!

Angel